View source for User:GreytideSkye/Sandbox/Akula

<!-- Series of GreytideSkye's fever dreams, supported by Sam3232's Biology and JPWriter's expert review -->{{LorePageHeader
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 |hcolour = white
 |bcolour = 007F0E
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 |img =  Azula.png
 |loretype = SPECIES
 |mainname = Azula
 |denonyms = Azula, Azulans
 |othernames = Akula, Shark
 |relatedpages = [[Critters#Space_carp|Space Carp]]
 |relatedlore = [[Lore:Nova]], [[Lore:Space]]
 |languages = {{TeVeluAkko}}
 |contributors = {{Contributor/Sam3232}}, {{Contributor/GreytideSkye}}, {{Contributor/JPWriter}}
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= Azula =
Azula, colloquially Sharks, are bipedal, tailed, aquatic folk actually more closely related to the common Space Carp. Stemming from the oceanic planet informally known as Selantis, these psuedosharks are only truly comfortable with some amount of the seas' embrace on their skin. Azula are fierce and conquering by nature, justifying their means through either an extensive understanding of evolution or the religious explanations from the zealous {{TooltipInline|Church of Current Affairs|Name likely to change}}.

= On the Origin of Shark =
== Divine Mandate ==
From Deacon Astrana's '''Sermons to a Devout School''':

In the Beginning, when the Stars swam through the oceans just as we do today, God saw through the murky depths and wept. Even at the end of infinity, She saw nothing but idle stagnation. The oceans may well have been solid glass, for how little swimming could affect the universe. Forward meant nothing, even to Her, without meaning.

In Her first act, She made direction. Down, the ever-pressing temptations of lethargy, to struggle against and to conquer. Up, the sins of hubris. The notions of purity, clarity, and sacrifice each take their toll as you ascend. And so it is that when we die, our flesh rises until it is pure of the pride we carried in life, and then sinks to the depths below, as a peak for the slothful to pull themselves up from the crushing despair. 
In Her first mercy, She choked out foul air, the barrier between our hubris and oblivion. The guiding bubbles that tell us sloth from pride. 

In Her second act, She bit her teeth into the despair below and tore it upwards, splitting the oceans between foul continents of stone. With land, we are reminded that progress cannot come without obstacle, that ambition needs context. And above the oceans, even in lethal purity, the wickedness of sloth remains ever-present.
In Her second mercy, She chewed at the land, spitting out the dirts and the sands that grow life, that we may find some value in repose.

In Her third act, She gave purpose to the passing of time. She scoured the grand oceans for life, for the seeds to bury in our sands. She watched as they took root, as grand green stalks of seaweed sprouted up, as majestic flowers bloomed atop sturdy corals between clouds of drifting green.
In her third mercy, she tore the oceans from the sky, laying Her kingdom in a perfect sphere in the cosmic ocean, to shield us from the strangling oblivion above, and to constrain the vileness below. And yet, even teeming with flora, She saw her kingdom as empty.

In Her fourth and final act, She made us in her image. To swim against the pulls of the deep, to cast aside pride, and to always swim forward. She laid the egg from which all Azula hatched, from which all progress was born. From that day forth, we have swum Her oceans in Her name, taking the gifts She has left for us and cultivating them into something greater. Our hymns, our tapestries, our weapons, our starships, our conquest, our dominance: all in Her image, all for Her unyielding progress.
Her fourth mercy remains unknowable. Perhaps it was for Herself, to let us loose and carry on Her will.

{{Speech|image=[[File:SimpleSkye.png|64px|Simple Skye, speaking only XKCD's 1000 Simplest Words]]|name=Simple Skye|text=The fish people's God Lady made the water earth they live in, they say. The god story is actually about how fish people should act: Not sleep-filled but also not too full of themselves. Wanting to do more at all times. Strong.}}

== Natural Development ==
<!-- Sam3232 in particular wrote this! -->
''From Finneas Lumbridge's final lecture at the '''Ordoht College of Retrospective Biology''':''

The Azula began as a fully aquatic and fully gilled species of fish which modern zoologists have deemed Azula Primus. These early Azula lived in solitude, only gathering around hydroponic vents to mate. These primal Azula had relatively simple minds, focusing mostly on eating whenever food was available.

Over time, the pectoral fins of these creatures developed a primitive claw structure which could grapple already dead prey. This trait was advantageous because it allowed these primal Azula to kill prey as it was found but carry them for later consumption. It is believed that this ability to save food led Azula primus to develop mentally so they could recall the locations of caches. Modern Azula lack any magnetonavigational tissue, so it is unknown if prehistoric Azula possessed such organs or if they located caches by sight.

The fossil record reveals that these frontal fins quickly became more complex. It is hypothesized that selection pressures favored Azula who would carry more prey as well as Azula who engaged in burrowing behaviors to avoid predation.  While retaining the primitive "claw" end effector, these pectoral fins gained sturdy bones in place of cartilage, gained an elbow joint and saw the appearance of proximal muscle groups allowing anterior rotation of the entire fin. These evolutionary changes resulted in animals who could not just grasp prey, but affect the world around them. The fossil record has revealed simple burrows and nests. These nests were in greater proximity than seen before, indicating a more social lifestyle.

Analysis of the cartilage of specimens recovered from brine pools reveals that these intermediate-stage Azula often lacked calcium in their diets, resulting in bones that were easily broken, especially in courtship. It is hypothesized that much of a proto-Azula's time was spent rummaging through rocks searching for calcium-rich arthropods. Azula who could grasp and move these heavy and often sharp rocks more efficiently ingested more calcium and, therefore, had stronger bones. For this reason, the simple claw like appendage developed into more delicate and dexterous fingers. Deemed '''Paleo-Azula''', these creatures could manipulate rocks with ease, allowing them to find and consume calcium-rich organisms much faster. Because of this, Azula had more time to hunt, socialize and explore. 

There appears to be a delay between the appearances of hands and early tools in the fossil record, which has been attributed to many factors. It is believed that the emergence of simple tools such as shovels, knives, and bags indicates sentient thought. Additionally, multiple user artifacts such as dragnets indicate that the development of languages and cooperative social units closely followed.

These tribal groups created art in the form of simple sculptures, stone arrangements, and scrimshaw, some of which have been preserved to this day. This also marks the arrival of structures built from easily available materials such as coral, stone, and in some cases, sunken wood. Items made from wood were treated as near divine and in similar ways to hoe early humans treated meteorite iron. The discovery of primitive cookware around hydrothermal vents indicates that they were likely used to cook meats to improve their caloric values and taste. Early textiles consisting of animal scales emerged and allowed Azula to submerge into deeper and colder trenches where valuable and revealed bioluminescent organisms were taken and later domesticated.

While the occasional fish could still be hunted with teeth, most hunting was preformed with finned and hydrodynamic spears, often with tips of discarded teeth. This allowed Azula to hunt previously dangerous megafauna. Large nets drawn by many hunters could clear entire sectors of the ocean in mere hours. The increase in food availability led to a population boom, which led to greater demands being placed on the already strained ecosystem.

(More to Come)

{{Speech|image=[[File:SimpleSkye.png|64px|Simple Skye, speaking only XKCD's 1000 Simplest Words]]|name=Simple Skye|text=The fish people are not shark but space carp. They grew up by getting arms first, then legs, then they learned to build things like sharp sticks.}}

== Post-FTL (2564AD) ==

= On the Discovery of Shark =
==Era of Flotsam==
''Excerpts from the '''Lament of a Predator''', commonly attributed to King Consort Whimuhaha Kiētito, etched in a scrimshaw {{TooltipInline|mobile|A kinetic sculpture in which numerous parts dangle from a central hanging. Here, all parts are traditional scrimshaw.}}, purpose unknown.''

Our first stars twinkled out in the {{TooltipInline|Year of Our Mother|Fixated on the year that word of the first discovery of Our Mother’s Egg Clutch reached the then-capital of Selantis, Pumimowha, “Where the King Swims”.}} {{TooltipInline|778|Est. 2270 Sol}}. The stars were not our business, and if they should choose to die, we cared not. Our calling was still the sea, and our landly incursions served only to bridge the seas and enrich Our Mother’s ocean. 

''A scrimshaw traditional pictographic minutes, the King Consort's depiction of a Trial. In traditional form, the Trial depicts the victor, and the means by which they acted, with supplemental explanation of the further results.''

King Consort’s depiction of a Trial, in the traditional pictographic minutes: Victor: artisan Peha Rano. By trident and axe. Declared as the first to have noticed the loss of stars and the first to show concern. 

When a third of our stars died, the King decreed concern, banishing a tribe of Akula to the surface, that they may watch and guard our oceans. This marks the last time I was welcomed in our oceans as a friend. I and my brothers took to the land, crafting wood and sand into towering observatories, staring up into the sky against an unknown threat. Six years and many tides elapsed. The waves no longer whisper their love to me, and the blue depths shallow in my heart. My children below know not their father, and my children above know not the pulse of the sea.

''A series of traditional pictographic minutes, depicting the King Consort's depiction of several consecutive Trials. The first are in the fins of the King's Consort himself.''

Trial: Victor, name scratched out. By stone and anguish.<br>
Trial: Victor, name rubbed clean. By plank and grief.<br>
Trial in a different finstyle: Victor, name filled in with resin (presumed “Rihoke Kiētito”). By deceit and poison.<br>
Trial, significantly scratched: Victor, name burned clean away. By scrimshaw. {{TooltipInline|scrimshaw|Note: Forensic evidence corroborates the trial’s depiction of the scrimshaw’s damage via exit wounds through an Akulan ribcage, DNA evidence suggests Rihoke Kiētito’s.}}.<br>
Trial: Victor omitted, By laser.<br>

{{Speech|image=[[File:SimpleSkye.png|64px|Simple Skye, speaking only XKCD's 1000 Simplest Words]]|name=Simple Skye|text=The Fish Leader saw some stars go away, so got angry and told his friend to go on land and make a city to learn. The fish people the friend took got bored and killed each other and the friend. The fights were each called a "trial" and they had deeper meaning, like a talking fight but with real fighting too, so they wrote down who fought and how they won. Soon, space men came and helped kill more.}}

==Era of Jetsam==
''Excerpts from the '''Testimony of Remorse''', collected in 2395, transcribed by [[Lore:SolFed|SolFed]] Inquisitor Dreyfuss, declassified in 2550 by request of the Azulean Ministry.''

Where it began? We stopped hearing from our surface brethren two grand tides before the present King issued a search party up to the observatory camp. It was to be my first hunt in the King’s Court, to find answers where there were none. We found metal, untainted by rust, stacked high in buildings. We found beasts as tall as us, made in the image of some other god. Of the fifty Azuleans residing there, we found only ten alive, communing with the feathered beasts. Three of the living and twelve of the dead bore my ancestral fin markings, from my father and his father before him. The survivor our kin swam behind, he wielded a gray tool of unmarred metal, same as the… you pronounce them [[Lore:Vox|Vawkes]], right? With his tool, my alleged brother pointed at my huntmates, turned the vile air red between us, and they fell dry and dead. Seared straight through. His tool could only fell three of us, and he met his fate for grand treason. Each of the survivors had delusions of supremacy, and it fell to us to establish order. 

The [[Lore:Vox|Vox]] present simply observed, watching our tactics from the safety of their buildings. When we turned to address them, they had already used their foul tools to etch the minutes of our trial onto a traditional whale bone. You’ve got that photo, right?

<!-- TODO delineate this from speech -->
    [State’s evidence shows a laser-cut segment of whale rib, with twelve Akulans etched in a photorealistic relief spearing ten of their kind. Below that, twelve names scratched by teeth, and below that, in historic Te Velu Akko, “By Snake and Bake.” ]

Right, they meant to put it as “Spear and Justice,” but they were guppies with our words, then. As the most Royal of our hunt, I made the call to accept the scrimshaw as a peace offering. We can be peaceful, yeah. That’s what we do! I humbly submit to the court that accepting this peace with these particular Vox was my first lapse of judgment, for which I am eternally remorseful. I cannot undo the past, I can only move forward, and I am grateful for your gift of humility and a path forward for my people.

    [Several minutes of apologies have been redacted for “coherency.”]

I was the first pilot, too. I couldn’t let my peers do something I wouldn’t, so I was the first to step into the steel coffin, and I was the first of our kind to see the tops of clouds. The Vox were generous with their ships, helping each of our kind into their own ship, tying our thoughts into commands until we were practically one with our vessels. I earned my praise for my quick maneuvering, steering my fighter faster than any of us could possibly swim. By the end, those jets could push off our personal inertia just as hard as they spun in space, our trajectories welded as one. The cockpits, full of our holy ocean’s water, apparently kept our bodies under constant, incompressible pressure. The Vox showed us what their fragile bodies could handle, and that even asleep, we could outfly them. Their words matched our faith:

<font size=+2>'''We were born for greatness.'''</font>

{{Speech|image=[[File:SimpleSkye.png|64px|Simple Skye, speaking only XKCD's 1000 Simplest Words]]|name=Simple Skye|text=The space men saw that the fish men could fly a space ship better than they could, and so used their strong thoughts to lie to the fish men and make them think they were important if they did the space men's jobs.}}

==Era of the Hunt==

===MECU Front===

''Joint Debrief and Tribunal of Commander Hutch, Chief of Galactic Economic Impact Report Analysis, Improvised Warlord, MECU, 2360 - 2385''

George and Clyde Mack. By right of Unexpected Loss, let their names be known. My team projects they were the first Human colonists silenced by the growing tide spinward. The first communication missed was from 50 light years closer, the Albedo Community of Reforming Laborers. Patterns suggested a planet-wide riot, so six orbital bombardment platforms were dispatched to await demands and force negotiations.

    Advertisement: The X5-M15 Orbital Bombardment Platform: Capable of discharging sixty 1-liter plasma blasts per minute from orbit to surface. Patented Bluespheromagnetic Containment Algorithms result in only a 50mL plasma loss to atmospheric interference, even in the strongest storms. Each platform is rated for a 50-degree conical zone of suppression, keeping entire nations under your thumb. X5-M15: Keep your workers’ heads down!

Within a single year, ten more outposts had gone silent with no demands or boasts. Those camps don’t have their own ballistic drives, so it couldn’t have been a rash of unified mutinies. The profit algorithms ruled out both a stray singularity and ionospheric concerns, and the lack of other Bluespace transmissions ruled out a distributed warband. The Risk Assessment team flagged controls for Piracy and Stray Megafauna, submitted proposals, and the Board of Directors settled on the cheapest solution:

    Advertisement: Mine your own damn business! MECU Astromine Synthesis Foundry of Untethered Kinetics. One carrier, unarmed, preloaded with 100 licenses for the proprietary MECU Low-Power Astromine and a discount code for a recurring subscription for additional licenses. Watch as this single carrier distributes a kiloton of ordnance per square AU in under twelve hours, with only a single human command. [Footage of a small carrier welding together a spherical explosive and setting it adrift.] These Astromines come equipped with the smallest ballistic drive you’ve ever seen, and with just one rod of uranium each, they can hold it charged for six years, latching onto any passing bluespace-drifting mass, slowing it mid-transit and delivering divine retribution straight from Alfred Nobel himself. Why break your foot kicking ass when you can buy an ASFUK today?

The Board of Directors refused to entertain any further proposals, not even as the Akulan fleet leered straight into our capital. Even as those impossible warships winked into realspace just hours from orbit. Even as our mines, as dense as carbon and drifting to engage their carriers, burst into worthless shrapnel, flagging only their slowest fighters. Even as the first blasts of enemy fire pierced through our atmosphere, wounding our infrastructure. Even as our electromagnetic discharges did little more than gently jolt their perplexingly fierce swarm. Even staring down the barrel of my SpaceGlock Jungle plz name a gun. 

Yes, I mutinied in that moment, and yes, I sinned further: I purchased the deluxe subscription.

    Advertisement: [A monotone advertisement from a solemn voice.] You know what this is, you know what it costs, and you know you can’t afford not to subscribe. The finest in planetary defense, compatible with consumer-grade astrofoundaries. The Gravity-Tethered Floating Unmanned Kinetic Trawler configuration. Weaving a miniature gravity generator into a standard Astromine turns a stationary defense tool into a mobile, unstoppable inevitability. Military-grade algorithms repurpose the existing Bluespace Anchor into a precision, single-use translocator guaranteed to 60 meters of accuracy. Tell your bosses to GT FUKT.

At the risk of waxing poetic, you should have seen those mines. Each foundry, churning out 90 a minute, not even needing to dislodge the finished mine to make room for the next, as instantaneously, they wink out of reality and appear directly in the flight path of one of those bastards. Your targeting computer projected a sustained thirty second volley would be sufficient to annihilate the entire hostile force. That computer ran hot for six hours before we could install a second server into the chain. We lost more foundries to overclocking than to enemy fire. 

Your numbers lie to you, and I know what I saw. The mines were getting kills, but we were losing our capacity to field more faster than we were clearing the skies. I don’t think I’ve seen drones fly as hard as those bastards could. With just 60 meters, at a kilometer a second, not only could they perceive death in their face, they turned a full 90 degrees to avoid it. We managed to box a few in, but mark my words, we were hours from complete corporate liquidation when the week’s fuel supply detransited into orbit. 

I stand by my decision, knowing full well the loss of productivity would cascade, having memorized the cost of one automated tanker loaded with pure elemental Hydrogen. I commandeered it anyway. The warheads could keep those fighters away from their carrier, they could intercept what laser batteries their mothership turned on the tanker, and as a result, I leveraged assets to force our competitor into a no-win situation. None of our simulations could have known just how stupid they were.

{{Speech|image=[[File:SimpleSkye.png|64px|Simple Skye, speaking only XKCD's 1000 Simplest Words]]|name=Simple Skye|text=The fish men, using the space men ships, went on the attack across a lot of human homes. They attacked a thing holding company who uses thinking metal to move and hold things, and did a lot of hurt to them. The thing holder leader of the area had to spend a lot of money and things to fight back, and it was hard.}}

===Aftermath===
''Environmental Triage - Bluespace Division - SolFed Externalities Dept. Report
Concerning October 21st, 2383''

The Light Anomalous Zone in the MECU-controlled Magellan System, 5 lightyears trailward of [DISPUTED], recently erupted into reality. Initial surveys find the zone to be 0.5 LY in diameter, and roughly spherical.
 
Akulan forces consisting of 3 Carrier-class starships and an uncounted number of fighters entered the orbit of [DISPUTED] at 1100 Local, deploying standard Akulan strike patterns against automated drones and planetary defenses. At 1800 Local, the MC 3400 Tanker (posthumously designated the MC Martyr) entered orbit for an automated planetary fueling and was diverted towards the main Akulan carrier vessel. The main carrier ignited its Ballistic Drive, entering bluespace, and the MC Martyr’s own bluespace drive entangled the two ships’ ballistic vectors, combining their trajectories and mass into a single reference frame.

Based on the extensive damage to the Bluespace barrier, resulting in the Light Anomalous Zone, we believe that inside the combined reference frame, the Akulan carrier attempted to charge a secondary Ballistic Drive against automated warnings. While a fully-charged, discharging Ballistic Drive is environmentally safe to decommission, one in the process of charging should avoid harm and typically contains failsafes to preemptively discharge upon damage, which cannot be done while the drive is already in a Bluespace Mass Shadow. Thus, when the MC Martyr collided with the Akulan carrier, the charging drive could not be safely discharged and thus erupted forcibly, smearing the contents of the mass shadow against the fabric of reality itself, tearing apart the distinction between Bluespace and Realspace in a thankfully limited radius.

By our projections, a team of Bluespace Technicians could repair and remove the anomalous zone within six weeks with local permission, but the MECU has claimed sovereignty over the zone, citing profit, and blocked all further attempts to remedy the situation. Due to the limited data collected and minuscule growth observed, we expect the zone to envelop the closest star within 50,000 years.

Reports from the Heliostatic Coalition suggest a similar pattern of rapid invasion and minimal fortification.

{{Speech|image=[[File:SimpleSkye.png|64px|Simple Skye, speaking only XKCD's 1000 Simplest Words]]|name=Simple Skye|text=The thing holder leader blew up a big wet burning ship in such a way that the fish men ship did worse than just die. Space in that place died too and now strange things happen there. Earth people do not like it but the thing holder people got lucky and like what happened and make money from it, now.}}

==Era Adrift==
''GameFAQs Walkthrough of War Of The Three Seas for the Wonder Box 6000, “Historical 100%”''

     _    _    __    ____    _____  ____    ____  _   _  ____    ____  _   _  ____  ____  ____    ___  ____    __    ___ 
    ( \/\/ )  /__\  (  _ \  (  _  )( ___)  (_  _)( )_( )( ___)  (_  _)( )_( )(  _ \( ___)( ___)  / __)( ___)  /__\  / __)
     )    (  /(__)\  )   /   )(_)(  )__)     )(   ) _ (  )__)     )(   ) _ (  )   / )__)  )__)   \__ \ )__)  /(__)\ \__ \
    (__/\__)(__)(__)(_)\_)  (_____)(__)     (__) (_) (_)(____)   (__) (_) (_)(_)\_)(____)(____)  (___/(____)(__)(__)(___/

Sup, guppy? So you’ve beaten W3C a few times, and now you’re interested in getting it right, the way it apparently really happened? Righteous. There ain’t enough runners on the leaderboards to qualify as an official category yet, and I’ll be real: there’s good reasons.

===Chapter I: Intro===

During your Any%, and even on your casual playthrough, you certainly hit ESC to skip through the starting cutscene, where the sole surviving Akulan carrier blinks into Selantis orbit, half-on-fire, and starts debriefing the King on how bad they fucked up, right? Guess what, it’s all historically accurate dialogue, so you’re sitting through that or the run doesn’t count. 

Fun fact: the voice actor who plays the priest who kindles the '''Hardcore Adherists''' into righteous anger, with the whole speech about how Mother’s Will was to '''conquer the stars''', gobbling any of their kin who get in the way? Yeah, he had Pierrot’s Throat the entire time, so they had to modulate the honks out. You can hear his voice clip when he explains how the Vox explained that all Akula are actually ''descended from Space Carp'' and that Their Mother is a '''Space Dragon'''. Deadlines, am I right?

After that cutscene, there’s a brief gameplay interlude where you’re introduced to the two playable factions, the '''Bureau of Current Affairs''', with intense Conquest of the Self action, and the less exciting '''Free Floaters''', who have minimal combat desire but maximal population growth. There’s a reason nobody runs this category: You’re gonna have to pick the Free Floaters. I know, it sucks, but if you go with the Bureau from the start, the default Floater AI pissess off the Adherists in the first month and is powerless to stop their annihilation. Lycerius is the only one who’s been able to pick the Bureau and reliably keep the Free Floaters alive, but even savescumming, that route’s trapped in an Eternal War.

===Chapter II: Whatever Floats your boat===
So you’re the '''Free Floaters, notorious pacifists'''. Your virtues are:
* Pacifism (on Sapients)
* Silver Tongue
* Charisma
Your conquests are:
* Political Maneuvering
* Population Expansion
Normally, your win con would be intrafactional marriages and the repopulation of Selantis, but that locks you out of the Bad Ending, which we’re actually going for with a specific setup that wins the unwinnable fight and triggers a failsafe encounter, which is legitimately what happened in the real history you’re simulating.

For the first six months, continuously [Defer] to the Hardcore Adherists and support their rallying cries for more warships. You should be building your population quickly to staff these ships when the time comes. 

===Chapter III: Male Storm===
The King dies in Month 8, no matter what you do. This is when you pivot strategies and begin accusing the Adherist’s High Confessor Martyn of treason. You’ll want to pick dialogue options that align with '''the Bureau’s values''' of:
* Self-control
* Discipline
* Self-policing
* Survival
And their conquest:
* Reinvent The Self
Within 3 months, the Bureau will have declared outright war against the Hardcore Adherists, attempting to assassinate Martyn. Sacrifice your sole fighter carrier to '''stop this assassination''', but before clicking confirm, close the window. Your carrier arrives but the self-destruct does not proc, saving both Martyn and your carrier. Only Martyn can give the launch order to the Adherists with a 100% acceptance rate, and saving him resets your factional reputation to Neutral. 

The rest of the year will need to be spent feigning discipline to balance the Bureau’s hatred of your interference.

===Chapter IIII: Kicking It Off===
Once the '''Vox Ship in Selantis Orbit is revealed at the end of Year 1''', you’re going to want to rush negative reputation with both factions. Because of your prior choice, the Adherists are going to accuse you of choosing your carrier over the life of Martyn, and the Bureau is going to accuse you of choosing Martyn over the single Akulan Carrier that survived the Short War. You can skip both of those cutscenes as they’re bug-related from resolving that with both good options and thus not historically accurate, but the rest follows true history. The mythos of the carrier stops the Bureau’s attack, and Martyn’s life stops the Adherists’ attack. With no valid targets, they default to attacking the Vox Ship. Ordinarily, if you’d reached this decision through the normal dialogue scripts, the Vox would have had time to sabotage your fleets and escape, but the spontaneity of your combined hostility pits you at full strength against an unprepared enemy. 

Now for the other reason people don’t play this category: As the pacifist Free Floaters, you don’t get to participate in the fun parts of the combat and will be spending your time micromanaging logistics chains and morale.

Congratulations! You’ve successfully united your people under the banner of taking revenge against those who set you up to fail, the Vox! An empty cutscene plays, then the intended final boss bluespace jumps in, '''the Diplomacyteam Ship. It ceases all hostilities in the playable area and leaves.'''

For Historical%, you’re going to need to have goaded the Adherists harder than the Bureau, such that when hostilities are ceased, ''the Adherists are ceased much more than the Bureau and yourself''. You don’t need to worry about assigning blame, as the Adherists are hard-coded to blame the Bureau for the conspiracy to annihilate them.

Your endgame state should show the '''surviving Adherists outcast from Akulan society''', the '''Bureau of Current Affairs mostly in charge''' of Selantis, the Free Floaters with twice as many diplomacy points as needed to have won a Social Victory, and the screen will call your people '''“Azuleans.”'''

===Epilogue: What Really Happened===
So after the Diplomacyteam Ship ceased all hostilities, the Adherists accused the Bureau of orchestrating events to get their people disproportionately ceased. They leave and/or are banished from Selantis and turn to various criminal escapades. The Free Floaters integrate into the social front of the Bureau, with the task of ''projecting their pacifistic ways to the galaxy as a form of'' '''damage control''' after the Short War. Because of political loopholes, this succeeds. The Azulean nation’s last war finally ended in 2400, and by 2440 both SolFed and the MECU begrudgingly accepted immigration from the Azulean people and private organizations, though neither will ''formally'' declare the Azuleans as a political ally. EDIT: 2540, it’s up for vote in the SolFed council again. EDIT: STOP MAILING ME I SAW THE VOTE. 2555 YEAR OF THE AZULANS

Special Thanks:
* Lever-Tot for Historical Cross-referencing
* Ordoht Institute of Sciences for fleshing out the ACE exploit to build a decompiler so we could figure out exactly how to avoid spawning the Diplomacyteam ship before historically accurate
* And You!!

{{Speech|image=[[File:SimpleSkye.png|64px|Simple Skye, speaking only XKCD's 1000 Simplest Words]]|name=Simple Skye|text=<i>People who play games used to go to a place called GameFAQs where they would read how to play the game-- that is not what needs explaining, okay.<br>
The Fish Men did not expect to get hurt so much on their big attack party, so came back really surprised and hurt. They had three ideas they could not decide on. Group one, to keep attacking anyways, because God said so. Group two, to change their thoughts to not be mostly attack but to be mostly saving people. They think this way because the world is bigger and more mean than the fish men, and so if they keep trying to be attack men, they will all die. Group three, to hide all the way and make a lot more fish men really quickly, and to never attack anyone ever.<br>
Over the war of Three Seas, the Attack Thoughts group got big and built a lot of attack ships while the other groups did not want to fight. The Fish Man leader dies in under a year and everyone gets mad, so the Change Thoughts group go to try to kill the Attack Thoughts leader but fail because the More Men Group let themselves get hurt instead. Soon, the space men who lied to the fish men get found out, and all three groups attack them. The space men die but call in their big brother who makes everyone stop fighting and kills most of the Attack Thoughts group.<br>
In the end, the Change Thoughts group leads the fish men with help of the More Men Group, making them really want to not look like they can attack people but look like they can save people, so that they do not die and because they are sorry for the first big attack party they did.</i>}}

==Era of the Knight==

''PMC Application for the role of: Station Security. Azulean Coastguard''

Humble sirs, madams, and kindred spirits, if you wouldst do me the honor of hearing our plight: For a century now, you have known the might of the Akulan people and, for almost as long, known of our extensive remorse. We strictly cannot express how deep our regrets are, nor how unfathomable our dedication is to atoning. We know we cannot make things right, but we would draw our final breaths to ensure things are made better. In pursuit of this effort, we humbly ask for the chance to demonstrate our loyalty to improvement by offering up the full support of the '''Azulean Coast Guard''' in defending your stations against ne’er-do-wells as you see fit.

(Note that we would humbly submit to an organizational name change as well, should you find words better suited to herald our plight.)

The '''Knighthood of Shining Armor''' stands for justice, protection, and the everyman. Our armor proudly extols '''our virtues''': To '''protect''', to stand as a beacon of '''hope''', and to hold ourselves to a '''higher standard'''. Our '''catchpoles''', for civilian work, demonstrate the very commitment to recanting our alleged vicious nature and harmlessly helping those who would do harm to the end of their spree. Our '''spears''', for absolute defense, symbolize our straightforward approach and honest nature. Our '''shields''' are not for us to hide behind but to protect our wards. Our commitment to keeping our armor shining and pristine mirrors our philosophy: '''to serve, not be served'''.

Prithee, thine own texts and simulations yield the noble archetype of the valiant Knight in Shining Armor, and the Knighthood’s qualitative analysis of the themes present within ye olde tales of Arthurian mythos suggest with high confidence that thy chivalry and our drive be one and the same. Hence, the '''Order of Chivalrous Carp'''. And by thy profit margins, thou shalt not stray to the evils of debt, as our expenses merely reflect the living wage of the noble knights issued. And, uh, '''no, they don’t need to talk like that all the time.''' It helps sell the image but it’s not like, y’know, mandatory. We get that it’s not even the original king’s tongue anymore.

Oh, and I know you’re having trouble with the solidarity of your current security solution. One bad apple and the rest fight tooth and nail to cover up and normalize the concern rather than admitting that they, like every other person in the galaxy, are capable of fault. No, here in the '''Finturnity of the Tower''', ''any act against our code is an act of treachery''. We are quick to admit their guilt and punish them harshly. Our wards subscribe to your regulations, but our Knights are supposed to ''hold themselves in higher regard''. You’re offering the privilege of a monopoly of violence, and we don’t take that trust lightly. Anyone breaking that trust has no place in our Order or our hearts.

''2562, the Board decided to contract with a different Security provider, but the Azulean Knights were encouraged to reapply in the future.''

{{Speech|image=[[File:SimpleSkye.png|64px|Simple Skye, speaking only XKCD's 1000 Simplest Words]]|name=Simple Skye|text=The Fish Men turned their police into metal police from the old times of old Earth. Their clean and bright metal clothes show that they like to save people. Their metal sticks fight people by holding them instead of by cutting them. Their metal plates save people by stopping big attacks using the fish men's strong will. They talk like old humans when they want to really really sound kind, like an act, but do not need to talk old all the time.}}

==Era of the Moonshine==
''Excerpts from Opening Al Carpone’s Vault, a 90-minute live-streamed special hosted by esteemed Journalist, Garraldo Ramora''

Here in the depths of your favorite exoplanet Pluto, our crack team of historians and [[Lore:Bluespace|Bluespheric]] physicians have traced the last known location of Al Carpone, notorious Akulan mobster. According to the Azulean Knights’ dossier, Al Carpone was the third Don of the Baccalà family, known for breaking the Plasma Runner blockade around the Alacholbrie Belt and heroically smuggling raw plasma disguised as statues of moonshine barrels. Rumor has it that the very barrels of moonshine used to model these statues are buried here, in his secret vault. Last week we took you on a guided tour of the Alacholbrie Belt Debris Field, walked you through the various "abandoned" Plasma Runner ships, and gave an exclusive interview with one of the many historical reenactors about the absolute barbarity of the vicious Runners and the noble restraint of the Baccalà enforcers. Through hours of intense combat, the Baccalà smugglers finally reached the energy-starving colonists of the area, who either couldn't or wouldn't afford the Plasma Runners' exorbitant prices on plasma, but were eager to pay only a tiny markup over the Plasma Clique's mandated supply in exchange for reliable, safe service.   

We've been here for about an hour, now, and gone through about three drill bits on this reinforced door. When Al Carpone wants something protected, by the stars, it's protected. At the height of his infamy, one in five locally-owned businesses in his zone of influence paid into some sort of protection racket with his family. Like the mafiosos of old, the Baccalà would make you "an offer you couldn't refuse," offering a modest and reasonably-priced tithe in exchange for "protection." Whereas Earth mafiosos strongly implied that the only threat you'd be protected against is their own wrath, the Baccalà understood the economy of the situation, that a business who's under siege is a business who can't pay, and that a little investment in local commerce goes a long way. To that end, not only would the family offer in-store security, but routinely patrol the streets for active threats to their involuntary wards, be they thieves, hooligans, or competition. In fact, next week we'll be hosting reruns of Baccalà's Best Burns: Breaking Invasive Megacorps for Mom And Pop Shops. In fact, in the tenth clip, you'll see me in the background, bravely reporting on the active Tesco fire behind me.  

Welcome back from the commercials. We've breached the first door and are here in the vault's lobby. As you can tell by the wood paneling, shampooed carpet, and delightful chandelier, this is where Al Carpone would entertain Friends of the Family, and share with them the treasures of his exploits. You'll note the oversized vault door in the back, which we'll be breaching using a Bluespace translocating drill. Rather than shave away at the metal door, this will be teleporting a cube of metal from the door out into orbit, over and over until the door opens. While that's working, let's sit down and explore the various pictographs and trinkets that Al Carpone himself would show to guests. This here, according to the label, are the legendary Thompson Submachine Carbines that Al's son, Don Scarpface, was known for wielding "Akimbo-style" into battle against the Akulan Knights as they tried to stop his numerous, family-friendly crimes. In fact, it looks charged and- YEOWCH! The infamous Blue Blasters, fired on live streaming for the first time in a decade! I'm fine, I'll live, but wow what a gun! Scarpface tore his own path of illegality across the Spinward frontier, ousting regional bandits and highwaymen and installing his own criminal empire that built supply chains that rivaled even the MECU's. But all things come to an end, when in a prolonged firefight against the Akulan Knights over the fate of the North Plutonian Doggino's, the store's manager revealed a hidden .38 revolver and shot the mafioso in the spine seven times. He survives deep in Gartunamoray Bay, under 24/7 medical care and police supervision. While he -- Wait, did you just say the drill translocated itself? Well... get it back from orbit! We've, yeah we've got B-Roll, sure. -- Right, Don Scarpface, Gartunamoray bay. Let's cut to the segment we did last year.  

==== Gartunamoray Bay ====
Gartunamoray Bay, modeled after an infamous Earthly detention facility, is home to over three hundred convicted criminals all across the Selantic Span. From lowly street thugs to even the Dons themselves, no criminal the Akulan Knights have ever faced goes unfamiliar with this floating fortress. Located in orbit two moons away from Selantis itself, the thick cinder-block walls keep the vile villainy inside and the peaceful galaxy under the Knights' vigilant watch outside. Let's start our journey here much like any criminal would: the court room. Today's Honorable Judge is none other than Parore Mahseer, he who convicted a thousand smugglers, whose order is absolute. Hello, your honor! It is here that the big fish in small ponds and the truly terrifying sharks among us are convicted, sentenced, and separated. The worst offenders, the truly dangerous ones, the killers, slavers, and greedy, they find themselves taking a long walk out a short airlock. Obviously that'd be a short tour, so let's instead pretend we're rough around the collar, but inside a genuinely good person. It seems like the Honorable Mahseer has offered us mercy today, a sentence of only an hour-long special. Haha! From here, we're taken down the longest exterior corridor in the facility, affectionately known as the Undercurrent. You may notice outside these single-paned windows a stationary vessel, likely a fellow tourist waiting in line to watch the perp walk of the next criminal in line, which if I'm reading the banners they're waving just above their broadside cannons aimed at this particularly weak wall, "Welcome Home, Finlay Greens," must be Fin. I hope they enjoy watching him sulk off to where we're going next, the holding facility itself.  

Here in the Gartunamoray Bay holding facility, every guard is trained to uphold the principles of '''Reformation''' and '''Repentance'''. To that end, every hour of a prisoner's schedule is built by top psychologists to foster social connections, a sense of community, and strong educational principles, so that when these guppies are released back into the ocean, they're well-equipped to make the galaxy a better place. In fact, we're passing by Classroom 3A right now, where it seems that Don Scarpface is giving a lecture on economics. We've been given prior permission to listen in for a moment, so let's do that.  

{{Speech|image=[[File:Azula.png|64px|Obvious Placeholder Is Obvious]]|width=90%|name=Don Scarpface|text=You can't bleed a stone, class. You know what that means? It's not about choosing your marks carefully, sea, it's not about about geology, it's about the public attitude. If you piss your community off, sea, they harden their hearts, like a stone, and will do nothing for you. You gotta do outreach, y'sea? You need your community to love you, and if they love you, they'll not just bleed for you metaphoric-like, they'll take actual bullets for you. What's this got to do with economics, you ask? You needs to learn about your community before you take control of it, sea? You can't just kick a door in and demand a flat five percent of their takings, sea, because each business has their own needs. The heartier businesses, they're bigger targets for competition, and they'll gladly pay more than five percent for a greater amount of protection, sea? And while we're on that topic, kicking a door in is an awfully aggressive first impression. It's got its place, see, but not when it comes to money. What you wanna do is sit down and review their fin-ancials, learn about who you'll be protecting, get to know them and then welcome to the Family. And hey, it's Garraldo! Class, say hi, Garraldo!}}

Haha, hi to you too, Don Scarpface. Moving on down to the school's atrium, you'll see a few recruiters waiting around, taking interviews for legitimate jobs for after your sentence. This one here? The Back Alley Warehousers, who are a very Family-oriented group with hundreds of warehouses across the galaxy in dire need of asset relocation engineers, a skill you too could learn down in Gartunamoray Bay. In fact, we've got a testimonial from one of their senior engineers, which we'll roll now.  

{{Speech|image=[[File:Azula.png|64px|Obvious Placeholder Is Obvious]]|width=90%|name=Unnamed Back Alley Warehouser|text=I'm eternally grateful to the Back Alley Warehouse family. I- I did some awful things in my past, and I deserved every year of my life in Gartunamoray Bay. I was young, my mate Bart wanted me to knock over a dime store, easy money, no plan, just masks and my uncle's truck, right? I- I didn't know Bart was packing, or angry at the world. I was the one to hold a knife up to the cashier, yeah, but Bart... he'd gotten his hands on some Meteor shot and... at point blank... no words... I don't remember much after that. I just started running when the Knights arrived, when their catchpoles shocked the hell out of him, when their teeth made his arms inert... I was lucky, I had a chance to surrender and I took it. Dove into the back of their paddy wagon and begged. It- I saw Bart's trial first, they had to wheel him in, took 'em an hour to conclude there weren't an ounce of regret behind those eyes except for getting caught, and they wheeled him out. Nothing  They, uh, only needed a few minutes with me, I don't even remember, and for the next three years I started learnin' how to be an upstanding citizen, how to relocate assets, how to win over civilianfolk like myself, how to build a Family. I like to think I do good work here with the Back Alley family, and while I can't undo what I've done, all I can do is '''keep moving forward.'''}}

==== Back in the Vault ====
I've just received word that our technicians have removed the last piece of the vault door and are ready to open it. Over the past hour we've reviewed Al Carpone's legacy, the man behind the myth, and now we're finally ready to see what dark secrets he's holding here in the heart of Pluto. Cameras are rolling. On the count of Five... Four... Three... Two... One...  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RAMORA!  

Oh my goodness, is that a cake in there? Did you put a cake in the v- ''it was there the whole time''? There's presents, and a card? How did they- Alright, let's open the card first...  

  Dear Garraldo Ramora,  
  I hope you've been having a wonderful life. I love your shows and I hope this one's a hit. You've meant so much to me over the years, it almost makes everything worthwhile. I know you haven't been a part of the Family, but you're family all the same.   
  I love you, my grandson.  
  Al Carpone

{{Speech|image=[[File:SimpleSkye.png|64px|Simple Skye, speaking only XKCD's 1000 Simplest Words]]|name=Simple Skye|text=The Fish Men who break the law do so in a family kind of way, like old law breaking men from the time they took away the beer on Earth. They work in a family and act like your friend, so that the Fish Police go easy on them. The big Fish Mean Person Holding Rooms are like school and home in one and if you go there, you learn a lot and get a job doing bad things but in a good family fun way.}}

= Culture =

Biologically, normal sharks '''must''' keep moving forward at all times, lest they suffocate. This idea of forced progression seeps into every aspect of the Azulan lifestyle. Progress comes in many flavors to these aquatic people. The obvious path is through conquest, seizing might where it may be found, but other Triumphs can be found in all walks of life, ranging from striving to be the best in a particular field to working to exploit a system to draw more value from it than you provide. Even using someone's morality against them to achieve the moral high ground shall be enough. As long as effort is made and some manner of victory is held, She Who Swims Above will accept you.

Azula, should they find themselves inclined to memorialize a conquest or glorify Azulan culture, find themselves drawn to rough, kinetic displays of force. Large stone arrangements, sculptures of tough materials, scrimshaw from the bones of the weak. 

{|  style="width: 95%; background-color:#F0D8FF" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
|-
!style="background-color:royalblue; color:white; text-align:left; width:85%; padding:8px" colspan=5|《 What is your struggle? 》
|-
|style="background-color:#E5ECFF" colspan=5| Be it a divine mandate or simple peer pressure, your gills feel void of air without a purpose. Even so far from the oceans of Selantis, the current draws you forward. What do you seek?
|-
!style="background-color:darkviolet; color:white; text-align:left; padding:8px" colspan=5|  Common Streams to Follow
|-
| '''Conquest''': A shark can smell blood a mile away. Your nose is scarcely different, and there is blood in these walls. The steel holding this station together, it is an alloy of iron and the lives of everyone aboard. Your path is simple: to find and establish violence, but in our modern times, wrath can take many forms. ''The laws of the land, are they your tools or your bane?'' 
|-
| '''Artistry''': No less noble than your Naval brethren, your hands were made for precision. There is childlike wonder in the hearts of all who travel the stars, and you are accustomed to slicing open hearts to release their innards. ''What is your blade?'' Your mind and wit are your trident and net, and your canvas serves as your arena, your gladiatorial chasm. ''When your paint comes to rest in triumph, who do you honor?''
|-
| '''Her Glory''': The Church has many voices, many carriers of Her message, and you are humble enough to be one of them. ''Your words cut deep. Are they serrated, leaving scars with no hope of healing?'' Your school, they swim willingly into dark waters under your guidance. ''Do you lead with light, or chase with teeth?''
|-
| '''Academia''': Where could be more cut-throat than the halls of the wise? With so many differing opinions, your fights may be less physical, but take no less toll on the combatants. ''What are you trying to prove?'' 
|}

Ever since the Era of the Hunt, in which Akulan forces tore their way through Human-adjacent space, ended in terrifying failure, the Bureau of Current Affairs has enforced the Mandate, that of projecting their pacifistic ways to the galaxy as a form of damage control. By societal convention, ''Azuleans'' are to avoid seeming like scary sharks, and act trustworthy and kind. They want to be seen as protectors, not villains, but that was several generations ago. How long is too long to ask forgiveness?

{|  style="width: 95%; background-color:#F0D8FF" class="wikitable mw-collapsible"
|-
!style="background-color:royalblue; color:white; text-align:left; width:85%; padding:8px" colspan=5|《 How do you uphold the Mandate?? 》
|-
|style="background-color:#E5ECFF" colspan=5|Self-control. Discipline. Self-policing. Survival. Your people once swam the path of terror, of violence, of hatred, of conquest, and you almost weren't born because of it. Your people have done terrible things, and still to this day, your people express remorse and shame. How does this manifest in your life? '''How are you kind?'''
|-
!style="background-color:darkviolet; color:white; text-align:left; padding:8px" colspan=5|  Your own Path to Atonement
|-
| '''Wholeheartedly''': The worst thing in the universe is regret, just barely eclipsing your peoples' horrid bloodlust. Your peoples' innate bloodlust, a curse from above to set you against your brethren, your peers in the stars. There is a constant gnawing, biting at your soul, and your purpose in life is to resist temptation. This is your noble goal, your drive, your passion, your need. Your hands are mortal, finite, and they alone cannot atone for what your blood has done, so every breath of yours must be in repentance. ''You could not know their sins, did not do their crimes, so how can you know forgiveness?''
|-
| '''By Law''': Those who lead the pack, those who swim ahead, they chart our path, and I follow. The current is smooth behind them, and rough away from them. ''Do I know where they take us? Do they?'' We as a people had decided to be monsters, ''and I would have been one too'', but now we as a people have decided to fight against monsterhood, ''and thus I fight too. Who decides what makes a man a beast? Would they recognize the beast within?''
|-
| '''Normalcy''': The best way to lead is by example. If you want to be seen as a "normal" person, then you act as one. I don't find it hard to act. I have friends without tails, I have friends without skin, and I simply ignore my folks' Original Sin. ''My fellow Azuleans, do they swim the path of madness? Is it my place to reel them up from their downward spiral?''
|-
| '''On the Line''': Our laws and the galaxy's laws don't line up. There's room for someone like me, someone who will hurt people, as long as I'm hurting the right folk for the right folk. ''Who is right to defend? Where are the Noble and Just fights, and am I in one?'' I wear the shining armor of our Knighthood, either on my skin or in my heart. I might do crimes, I might break and steal and roughhouse, but it's all calculatedly on the edge of endearing. ''Why do they love someone as sick inside as me?''
|-
| '''In the past''': Look at the numbers: We killed a hundred thousand humans, we've lost ten times that in defense of them. It just adds up: we're done. We atoned. I don't know if ''you're'' bad at math, but everything seems blown out of proportion. It's done, we can be who we want to be. ''And who is it that I want to be? How tainted by my upbringing in this cult of remorse are my ambitions?''
|-
| '''Actually, I'm evil''': Despite what the Bureau says, my mouth is full of teeth and I can smell blood in the stars. What they say is true: we're killers, all of us. ''My prey is out there. Is yours?'' We were born to kill, to conquer, to dominate. ''Is it even possible to conquer the infinite cosmos?'' Our bite will find out. ''There's always a bigger fish.'' Our bite '''will''' find out.
|}

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